Twenty-Eight is Great!

Today is my 28th birthday. Jason and I are celebrating by driving to Houston today to go to the famed Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo to see Brad Paisley perform tonight.
Squeal!

Ambition with a side of Trepidation

SO:

After much thought....
I might just give the old blog format a serious overhaul.

If I made Blush Reality into a book, would you read it??
Would anyone?
That my friends, is a hell of a question.

I think I'll start on editing this week...
"Blush Reality: Confessions of a Serial Blogger."

Feedback, PLEASE!

Hope for the Best, Plan for the Worst, and Maybe End up Somewhere in the Middle...

Hey peeps, my laptop has been broken, therefore posts have been scarce and will be till I get a new hard drive.

Everything is going well with me...haha.
I got laid off,
but I'm getting unemployment.
I live with my parents,
and Jason lives here too now.
I get my heath care from the government,
so my medication is down to $30 from $600.
Jason and I are happier than ever,
except he works 7pm-7am graveyard shifts so I barely see him.
He told me he wants to start a family with me,
but he has to be financially stable first.
From here it seems like merely a dream,
Unfortunately, I'm running low on dreams lately.

I painted my nails in black glitter today.

I thought about college,
then I thought about art.
I thought about love,
then I thought about money.
I thought about hate,
then I thought about nonsense.
I thought about you,
then I thought about me.
I thought about the world,
And how it goes round.
I thought about the Indians,
Dead in their mounds.
I thought about it all,
There's so much to see.
If it so happens that I fall,
Watch me fall on my feet.

Beans and Cornbread (and a long nap)

It's funny how traditions get started. My family isn't big on traditions, but my alma mater is. The way Texas Aggie traditions usually get started is when someone comes up with a totally brilliant (at the time) idea or when something funny happened(s).

If you live in Texas or The South in general, you most likely spend your New Year's Eve involved in much drinking, much dancing, and general debauchery.

A long-time American New Year's tradition is to kiss on midnight on New Year's Eve.

An excuse for men to make out with chicks.

An excuse for lonely women to feel special.

BRILLIANT IDEA (at least at the time...) *wink*

If you live in Texas or The South in general, you most likely spend your New Year's Day involved in watching football, and traditionally eating beans (black eyed peas, specifically) with cornbread, and boiled cabbage. For health, wealth, and good fortune.

Today I figured out the Real reason. Good fortune my ass!

It's the BEST hangover food EVER. AND you get a nap afterwards! Starch attack!

BRILLIANT idea!

Birth of a tradition.

...

New tradition proposal: Playing Wii Sports.

Brilliant idea!

Birth of a tradition?

Can You Meet Me Halfway?

What's with the fighting lately?

This time it was with Jason.

It breaks my heart every time...

I'm too needy,

He's too remote.

Truth is after every fight I feel we are closer than ever.

I don't know if we'll be taking that next step any time soon though.

Relationships can be hard work. But should they be?

When it's bad it's so bad...

But when it's good,

It's SO GOOD.

Can you meet me halfway? Right at the borderline?

That's where I'm gonna wait...for you.

I'll be lookin' out...night and day...

Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I'll stay.

Sweet And Sour

I am trying to work out a lease agreement with my Ex over the truck that we once shared. After saying one thing for months then changing his mind when I did not want him back, he changed his mind and is threatening to take my vehicle and means to work right out from underneath me. I've put thousands of dollars into this truck at this point. The truth is that if he cared so much about that truck he wouldn't have started doing drugs again immediately after he signed the loan. Now he's tripping over paperwork. And then the name calling began. Regardless of the details of the fight, the phrases child molester(?) and crack whore should never come up during a conversation about a lease agreement.

Yeah.

He called me a child molester and a crack whore.

It was fucked.

On so many levels.

Destruction.

That's all I could think about. I was ready to join a metal band.

I wanted to physically hurt him. Destroy him.
It took a whole xanax to calm me down.

Vengeance.

Destruction.

Apparently I did not have the right words for this situation yesterday because pretty much everyone but my own mother thought I overreacted. Jason was wonderful. However childish he thought it was, he still called Austin and told him to shut up and leave me alone.

That meant a lot to me.

So anyway, I've decided to let Kelly Clarkson speak on my behalf:

Sour First...

So what’s your evil attitude
When you got me spending my time pleasing you
Why must you keep me underground
Tell me tell me, why you wanna bring me down?
Is it too much to give a damn
When I GAVE you one hundred and ten
Don’t blink cause I won’t be around
Tell me tell me, why you wanna bring me down?

...Then Sweet.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you
Now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss
Then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone