Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Crazy In Love

I love you with all my heart, Austin Cox. Please don't ever forget, even though we are apart right now. I promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure you always feel it, because my love will be right with you, unfailing, forever and always. You are the light of my life and the light in my dark. Your smile melts my heart and makes my days. You mean so much more to me than you'll ever know. When we lived together, I fell in love with you every day, and continue to fall in love with you all over again every single day that passes. I fell in love with you all over again when I got to Dallas on Monday, at the movies on Tuesday, when you held me on Wednesday, yesterday at the Museum (and last night in bed, hehe) and then today as we said our temporary goodbyes--and I'm sure I will do the same tomorrow, and the next day, the next day, the day after that, and so on and so on. I hope you get the picture. I love you, I love you, I love you--one thousand times I love you. We are the only ones that can tear us apart, so I'll be handling everything with care, because I never want to be without you--you are my everything in this rotten world. Thank you for being so beautiful, your smile makes my life worth living.
I hope this was coherent...

Love Always--To Infinity and Beyond!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Blessed Assurance

Last night I made love. Love like never before. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
For hours we were overtaken. I fell in love all over again. And again, and again.
We made love like armageddon and eternity rolled into one. We made love like there was no tomorrow, and no yesterday. We made love for the unknown, for the future.
For our future--together.
I've got a ring on my finger now to prove it. The most beautiful symbol and a constant reminder of why Life is worth the Living. Love.

He is The One.
He is the Man of my Dreams...
He is my Past, my Present, my Future.
He is my Gilbert Blythe and my Rhett Butler.
He is my Indiana Jones.
He is my Mr. Big.

Holy shit! We're getting married! Dreams really do come true. I am the future
Mrs. Austin Cox.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Strong Enough to Bend

It's been too long since I could bring myself to the keyboard. My treatment plan requires group therapy five days a week and it's pretty draining. I do realize at this juncture that it's not the end of the world as I described in my previous post, over a month ago. Although those feelings are valid and still quite at work in my mind and heart, I have become more accustomed to the changes around me. Turns out "Recovery" means that you have to change EVERYTHING in your life. You think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. Everything. I am not very happy with their declaration that once you're a drug addict, you're always a drug addict...
That fucking sucks.
However I have had some pretty good times during the past month. Group is not always terrible, and our preacher's missionary daughter and her FIVE kids came into town and I went to the zoo with them, where I took this jewel of a picture. Yes those turtles are doing it. Every time I see it I laugh. And I need things to laugh at, if only to keep me sane.
I am planning on attending class at Angelina College here before I leave.
Leave. Yes, I am leaving. I am living in a town full of ghosts and I've got to get the fuck out of here.
Austin and I have made a plan to make a new start in College Station next year. We are going back to school at Texas A&M University, where neither of us have very much left to finish. We made this decision when he came in to see me on Memorial Day weekend. We ate lunch, took a Sunday drive, and even rode the kid's train at the zoo. It was so romantic; me in my sundress, the bright blue of the sky and the deep green of The Pines--the children ran gleefully around us in the kind of setting only an antiquated watercolor painting could capture correctly. I look forward to many more of those times with Him. I am hoping to fly to Dallas for a week very soon.
He is The One. Really. When you Know, you just Know. It's Indescribable.
This is my ring. (check out the subtle but super cute heart setting!)
This is his ring. (sexy.)
Oh yeah, it's like that.