Dearest Austin,
I do not want to drive us apart either. You mention that we used to live such parallel lives, and that now it seems we have different priorities. I don't know if "priorities" is really the correct term. I doubt you will see it that way, but just because we are not doing all the same relative things at the same relative time any more does not mean that we have different priorities, it just means that we have different activities that we participate in that aren't the same. Well, that seems like the obvious part of living in separate houses, in separate towns. We've never lived and been together like that. Only when you were locked up. Now we are living a very different life than the one we began together. That doesn't, and you touched on this, make us love one another less. What it does do is make us different, and we've been different since the day we met so that's something we should be able to deal with by now, right? But that also doesn't mean that there won't come a time when we get our lives back on the same track, when we're living together in the same town and building our relationship, together. Right now we each have a lot of work to do on our own. We need jobs, or better jobs, or more money, or cars, or insurance, or some sense of stability before we can realistically be together and be a successful partnership again. That is a priority for me. I think it's also a priority for you too, so see--our priorities really aren't that different. Just because everything isn't perfect like you pictured it right NOW doesn't mean that it won't be or can't be. You can't rush things, but I do appreciate your attention to making our relationship work and being interested in it being as wonderful as you picture it, but sweetie I'm afraid that's just not how things work. I'm trying to do better for you. I'm trying to change my mind for you, and me. I'm trying to be where you are, but I'm just not there right now. That doesn't mean I won't get there or that I don't care, it just means that I need more. More time or more something than you, I guess. I feel as lost as you do sometimes, I'm trying to figure this all out on my own. So basically I just try to roll with the punches. I also just try to love you the best way I know how and as much as I can. I hope that helps, and I hope that you can give me the benefit of the doubt that I'm trying to be better, and that I do love you.
And I do.
Always,
Blush
I do not want to drive us apart either. You mention that we used to live such parallel lives, and that now it seems we have different priorities. I don't know if "priorities" is really the correct term. I doubt you will see it that way, but just because we are not doing all the same relative things at the same relative time any more does not mean that we have different priorities, it just means that we have different activities that we participate in that aren't the same. Well, that seems like the obvious part of living in separate houses, in separate towns. We've never lived and been together like that. Only when you were locked up. Now we are living a very different life than the one we began together. That doesn't, and you touched on this, make us love one another less. What it does do is make us different, and we've been different since the day we met so that's something we should be able to deal with by now, right? But that also doesn't mean that there won't come a time when we get our lives back on the same track, when we're living together in the same town and building our relationship, together. Right now we each have a lot of work to do on our own. We need jobs, or better jobs, or more money, or cars, or insurance, or some sense of stability before we can realistically be together and be a successful partnership again. That is a priority for me. I think it's also a priority for you too, so see--our priorities really aren't that different. Just because everything isn't perfect like you pictured it right NOW doesn't mean that it won't be or can't be. You can't rush things, but I do appreciate your attention to making our relationship work and being interested in it being as wonderful as you picture it, but sweetie I'm afraid that's just not how things work. I'm trying to do better for you. I'm trying to change my mind for you, and me. I'm trying to be where you are, but I'm just not there right now. That doesn't mean I won't get there or that I don't care, it just means that I need more. More time or more something than you, I guess. I feel as lost as you do sometimes, I'm trying to figure this all out on my own. So basically I just try to roll with the punches. I also just try to love you the best way I know how and as much as I can. I hope that helps, and I hope that you can give me the benefit of the doubt that I'm trying to be better, and that I do love you.
And I do.
Always,
Blush
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