Just The Girl Next Door? I Don't Think So.

I have never had many girl friends. I have always been a guy’s gal. Most of my girlfriends have been of the same mold. And by "guy's gal" I don’t mean slut. I’m the girl-next-door younger sister-type that you drink beer and tell dirty jokes with but secretly jerk off to in the shower. Yeah. And that's cool and all, but girls like that don’t get all that much play. It sucks. But tonight, I realized that most of the guys I chill with after work at Freebirds have crushes on me. Most especially Rob. Let me first say that Rob is the bomb. You will never meet a nicer guy. He’s just the cutest thing, and he’s so tall, with longish hair…that is such a turn on for me. He’s in a band. Check. He's from Colorado (not Texas.) Check. Check. And when he smiles, it just makes me smile too, every time. I am kinda flustered upon realizing that I might have a shot at ‘ole Roberto. Except I'd rather fuck Jesse. Totally. It's getting pretty unbearable. I don’t know what I should do! Am I ready for any of this?? I mean a "relationship" at all? I don’t know! I’m afraid of everything. I am such an emo-pussy. Proof of this is that I could’ve kissed Blake in jubilation when he gave me a copy of some Neutral Milk Hotel albums. I can’t stop listening, I am on an indie-rock high. It's fucking awesome.

If you bore me then I'm comfortable, if you interest me I'm scared...

As much as I want and try to believe in love, I don't.

The child is grown; the dream is gone.

Also, I found out that Ricky's birthday is actually the same day as mine, how cool is that? We are birth-mates. So I decided to break in my new apartment with a party. Hostess is one of my favorite roles to play. We might also go to Dallas to The Toadies reunion concert too, I don't know. I need to hurry up and learn to play my guitar, dammit.

Jams for the Day: American Girl by Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers and The Return of Saturn (in it's entirety) by No Doubt