I Need A New Drug

I know I have said this before but I must be a woman now because I am having feelings I don't remember having as a girl. I could go on about how all this must be affected by the absence of any kind of men in my life for...oh, about 10 months, and how they are strange and beautiful creatures to me now, but nobody cares about that. Let's get to the good stuff. There was this guy on the bus today. Fucking aye dude. Long, messy chestnut curls, bright blue eyes, and yes, even that scraggly-ass beard. And his book bag. Leather. An old Army field telephone bag. He seemed so ...unconcerned with himself. I watched his eyes flash as he watched the scenery fly by. I saw the corners of his mouth upturn as he read his book. I tried desperately to get a peek at the title of the hardcover, but to no avail. Everything about this guy was unconventional. I wondered what he'd be like between the sheets. Based solely on that thought, I would have jumped him right then and there. And if it weren't for social precedent and protocol, I would have. No questions asked. If I never saw him again, okay. Actually that'd be better for me. Anyway I guess I dwelled on that thought a bit too long because all of a sudden the bus is stopping and I'm getting up to get off the bus, and I pause to let the dream go ahead, and he like, bowed a little bit and smiled at me and waved me in front of him. But it was not like a normal, everyday wave-through. There was something ridiculously old-fashioned about his movements. An unexpected gentleman. This threw me off because I didn't expect him to acknowledge me at all; the guys I'm into never do. So I took a step and stumpled in my anxiety and almost tripped over him like a fool. We got off the bus and he headed off in the opposite direction. I watched him walk quickly away from me. Back to his woman, I suppose. It was hard parting ways with the dream. But sometimes life insists that you do.

C'est la vie.

Jam for the Day: Closer by Nine Inch Nails