I am feeling a whole lot better. It took a while, but Saturday was a really great day and I think I'm back on an even keel. After giving it some thought, I think my reaction to the other night was so ...severe because for the first time in ages, he kissed me. Full on. I hadn't been expecting that. And it just ...brought up some kind of lingering emotion from my time with him. I don't know. See this is why I never wanted to see any of my exes ever again. I'm ready for a new life.
But Saturday was the most perfect spring day. Cool in the morning, hot as shit in the afternoon, cool at night. Breezy. Sunny. The skies here in Austin are so big, you wouldn't believe it sometimes. When it is beautiful here, it is fucking beautiful. And that's 90% of the time, I'm not bullshitting. And with Easter comes the flowers. Wildflowers popping up everywhere they get the chance. Most especially along streets, along highways. I watch them from the window of the bus on the way to and from work and can't help but smile and thank god for the colour and the shape.
But all that lives is born to die
The Legend of the Bluebonnet
http://www.800oakwilt.com/Bluebonnet.html
Jam for the Day: Texas (When I Die) by Tanya Tucker
5 comments:
Glad you're feeling better, Blush. I've only just read your last post and I was distraught on your behalf!
Look, on the baggage thing: everyone has baggage. Some more so than others, true, but generally people have a lot more hang-ups than you'd think, and the people who DON'T have so much baggage are those who will be much more able and willing to put up with yours!
For ages I thought that The Boyfriend would be horrified if he knew how much hang-ups I've been saddled with from past relationships, and now I think he has more problems and walls up around him than I do!
The point is: someone will love you. More than one person, I'd wager. You're not alone, you won't BE alone. The only way you will is if you allow yourself to be trapped by the faux-certainty that you will. Am I making any sense at all? I don't think so. Hey, I'm trying.
Chin up. I'm glad you're feeling better, and I hope writing about it helps. :)
aww thank you n!
It's nice out here too!
"Good Hamlet, cast thy nighted colour off,
And let thine eye look like a friend on Denmark.
Do not for ever with thy vailed lids
Seek for thy noble father in the dust:
Thou know'st 'tis common; all that lives must die,
Passing through nature to eternity."
Boy, you really are a dreamer, arn't you? I am too! :)
I like your blog.
See you in a week!
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