The Elusive One

I might have found HIM, the elusive ONE. No kids, never been married. Good job, great family, my age. Finally, a gentleman! Unfortunately, I've never dated a good guy. Obviously, I am not that kind of girl.

We have TONS much in common, and Jeremy seems to truly like me for who I really am.

My parents LOVE him. In fact, my Dad picked him out for me! (They are even going deer hunting together next month in West Texas--my Dad thinks that he and Jeremy are best drinking buddies, heh.)

We grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same High School and College (Texas A&M University) but didn't formally meet until about 2 years ago at a tailgate party at an Aggie football game, even though our families are old friends! It's a small, small world when you're from a small, small town.

We are taking it slow, very slow, because this JUST MIGHT be IT and there's no way I'm fucking IT up...again!

I'm getting way too old for that shit.

We had our first kiss just last night.........and it was wonderful! I can't wait to see him again.

A Very Special Thanks

Hey There Casey!

I hope you are your family are doing well! Just a note to tell you thank you so much for teaching and showing me how to be a good office manager.

After working only a month at the hotel (Holiday Inn Express here in Lufkin) I took over for the Front Desk Manager who had to take maternity leave. I immersed myself in the work, as I was totally clueless at first, and now it's looking like I'm going to get promoted to Front Desk Manager permanently because I do a better job than her, and because my boss adores Lacy, I feel like I've really accomplished something!

But now my boss loves me more because apparently no one has ever been so organized and kept track of documents and all the administrative stuff AND do the regular shift work as well as me, and I attribute much of that to you, teaching me to write EVERYTHING down and make hard copies of EVERYTHING and files for EVERYTHING :)

I think I finally found where I belong. I LOVE hospitality, and this is the best job I've ever had (next to Powertrol, of course!) I absolutely love it. I think I want to stay in the hotel industry and make my job a career. Long overdue, I know, but at least now I know what the hell it is I want to do with my life!

In other news: I'm also finally seeing a "good guy" but taking it slow because I'm too old to fool around anymore! His name is Jeremy Pittman, uncle Dennis' best friend from High School's son. He was in the Corps at A&M and is best friends with little David, big David Cook's son. Daddy picked him out for me, and we are on the verge of seriously dating. It's crazy how Daddy can be right on when you least expect it.

Anyway, you helped me so much back then at Powertrol, and you're still helping me now!

Thank you so much for taking an interest in me, I miss talking to you and even your lectures, heh! Thought you might want to know it really did help! :)

Love,

Blush

One Hell of a Hiatus

Wow. I finally have something to talk about!

Unemployed for six months, I had become extremely depressed. Let's just say I was a hot mess.

However, Danielle's bachelorette party in New Orleans and wedding in downtown Dallas WAS fuckin amazing--and totally helped me see the light again.

Jason and I broke up but stayed best friends, living together with my mom, almost like brother and sister.

Strange, yes. Normal, not at all. But it worked for us somehow this summer.

In September I got a job as the Front Desk Manager at the Holiday Inn Express here in town. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT and want to turn this "job" into a "career." I think I was made for Hospitality!

Maybe it's the Texan in me.

Jason finally got a good job, but it is out of town. Almost the moment he left for Houston, he decided he was still in love with me. Then he got transferred to rural Kentucky, installing fiber-optics. Jesus, what a bombshell. We still have the same stormy relationship, but I took him back, because things were supposed to be different this time.

I had to play out the feelings I cannot deny I still have for him. It wouldn't have been fair to either of us, or anyone we might get involved with in the future, to leave this "undone."

He is here this weekend for Thanksgiving, and somehow I feel like nothing has changed at all. I just don't feel special like a girlfriend should with their boyfriend. Maybe our past is insurmountable, I cannot tell. But suddenly now that I'm not interested in a boyfriend but in a career, my ex confesses his love for me and I've also got two other guys wanting to date me seriously.

Good God! I can't handle one, much less two or three! Will write more about this later. I'm really conflicted over it all, heh. I'm always conflicted over something.

But you knew that.

This year I am thankful for: my job, Burn Notice and Law and Order: Special Victims Unit Marathons during the week, and the E! network on weekends. The Aggies beating the Longhorns yesterday, my brother Sam's and my epic night in Dallas, Momma and Daddy, and my best friends, Danielle and Jason.

Wildflower Landscape

I finally got the courage up to dabble in the fine arts again...this is one of my first real paintings EVER, and I am really quite proud of it. It captures my favorite time of the year in Texas...springtime. Everything is alive and in living colour. Wildflowers cover country pasture-land and grow alongside highways, brightening mundane drives and reminding all of us that God is very much alive and well and at work in Life.

picture taken with camera phone

American Saturday Night

So Brad Paisley was awesome. I hadn't seen a country concert in years (much less a rodeo) and Mr. Paisley fuckin' rocked it out. He was SO hot, as he played a guitar solo I grabbed Jason's leg and squealed "I'm so horny right now!"
Awesome.

I've just been sorta lying around being lazy and depressed due to my lack of employment...I've been living in a great state of boredom.

Surprisingly, another great State, of Texas, has jumped in to help (which would be the first time for me, usually its the state of Texas holding me in prison or rehab, but what the hey--water under the bridge, right?)

My friend Rhonda has developed a nasty coke habit. So I can't hang out with her really, it's too much temptation. I feel like I'm losing a sister-friend, but I don't know what else to do, ya know? When we met, she was so against hard drugs. Now her husband thinks she's engaging in ...immoral things to get it. I have never been so disappointed. I miss my FRIEND.

Jason and I are really happy right now. I'm going through my long bipolar cycle--12 months of normal, 4-6 months of crazy. I'm in the "crazy" 4-6 months right now. So I have my good days and my bad days. The medication really helps.

My old friend Courtney is back in my life. We dated brothers in High School. She's working at a local deli and bakery called The Lunch Box and she's pretty sure she can get me on there because a girl walked out on her shift the other day and I don't know of anyone who could get away with that and NOT get fired, heh. Courtney's been talking me up and she thinks it's gonna happen. I sure hope so, because even though I got approved for unemployment (which is SUCH a big help) I've gained like 15 lbs. from sitting on my ass all day instead of moving around at work.

I have GOT to get in shape! Danielle's Fabulous Downtown Dallas Wedding is sneaking up quickly on me! Not only am I maid of honor in but my TEN YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION is coming up in the fall. I've got to plan the Bridal Shower AND the Bachelorette Party. Never been in a wedding before--this is new territory--and I'm kinda at a loss.

Good God.

As for the reunion I am super excited about it really, I haven't kept good touch with many high school friends due to several precarious years in my past. It will be SO good to see them all...
The only thing is most of them have a career or are married and have not just one but sometimes two kids! Which is a bummer for me, not only do I work high school type jobs, but I don't have much to be proud of at all. I felt like if I had some darling little children, it would be completely different. My life would have so much more purpose and I would feel somehow justified in my station in life.
And the Fact is, most of the friends of mine that have had children are still as thin as they were in high school! What the fuck is that?! I have always battled my weight and I've just got to get in shape before the wedding and reunion.

I am seriously thinking about hiring my Elementary school-present best friend Kristin's husband because he's a personal trainer...
That would be the shit.

I printed out my entire blog to start the editing process for a possible book...working title: BLUSH REALITY: Confessions of a Serial Blogger. I've got 1600 pages of material. Yeah. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it. This could be my big break, you never can tell!

Loves!

Twenty-Eight is Great!

Today is my 28th birthday. Jason and I are celebrating by driving to Houston today to go to the famed Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo to see Brad Paisley perform tonight.
Squeal!

Ambition with a side of Trepidation

SO:

After much thought....
I might just give the old blog format a serious overhaul.

If I made Blush Reality into a book, would you read it??
Would anyone?
That my friends, is a hell of a question.

I think I'll start on editing this week...
"Blush Reality: Confessions of a Serial Blogger."

Feedback, PLEASE!

Hope for the Best, Plan for the Worst, and Maybe End up Somewhere in the Middle...

Hey peeps, my laptop has been broken, therefore posts have been scarce and will be till I get a new hard drive.

Everything is going well with me...haha.
I got laid off,
but I'm getting unemployment.
I live with my parents,
and Jason lives here too now.
I get my heath care from the government,
so my medication is down to $30 from $600.
Jason and I are happier than ever,
except he works 7pm-7am graveyard shifts so I barely see him.
He told me he wants to start a family with me,
but he has to be financially stable first.
From here it seems like merely a dream,
Unfortunately, I'm running low on dreams lately.

I painted my nails in black glitter today.

I thought about college,
then I thought about art.
I thought about love,
then I thought about money.
I thought about hate,
then I thought about nonsense.
I thought about you,
then I thought about me.
I thought about the world,
And how it goes round.
I thought about the Indians,
Dead in their mounds.
I thought about it all,
There's so much to see.
If it so happens that I fall,
Watch me fall on my feet.

Beans and Cornbread (and a long nap)

It's funny how traditions get started. My family isn't big on traditions, but my alma mater is. The way Texas Aggie traditions usually get started is when someone comes up with a totally brilliant (at the time) idea or when something funny happened(s).

If you live in Texas or The South in general, you most likely spend your New Year's Eve involved in much drinking, much dancing, and general debauchery.

A long-time American New Year's tradition is to kiss on midnight on New Year's Eve.

An excuse for men to make out with chicks.

An excuse for lonely women to feel special.

BRILLIANT IDEA (at least at the time...) *wink*

If you live in Texas or The South in general, you most likely spend your New Year's Day involved in watching football, and traditionally eating beans (black eyed peas, specifically) with cornbread, and boiled cabbage. For health, wealth, and good fortune.

Today I figured out the Real reason. Good fortune my ass!

It's the BEST hangover food EVER. AND you get a nap afterwards! Starch attack!

BRILLIANT idea!

Birth of a tradition.

...

New tradition proposal: Playing Wii Sports.

Brilliant idea!

Birth of a tradition?