It's The Fear that keeps me Here

Last night Rob and I went over to his house to have a beer after work and chill. All I could think about all night long is what in the world is stopping me from being all over that?? Rob is great. I mean really great. And if I wanted to I could be with him. I think... But something is stopping me. I don't know if I just don't have it for him like that or if it's something bigger. Something that's stopping me from loving anyone at all. Just lately I've been looking at Rob, and his smile, and I get this image of curling up on the couch with him. But again, I don't know if this is because of Rob, or because I just wanna curl up on the couch with someone. Someone I like. Someone I have respect for. FB is no good for cuddling anymore now that the infatuation of sex has worn off. My 20-year old suffocates me. And Dinah's only good for cuddling for like 5 minutes at most. I'd like to lie on the couch and watch a movie with a man. Eat a late dinner. Have a real conversation. Maybe even share a good laugh. Is all that possible? See I guess that's the thing about Rob. I totally feel like doing all those things with him. And a few times last night when he looked over at me, I wanted to do more. But on a regular basis, I don't let my mind go there. Because as much as I want to be with someone, and share with them and have that support, I fear it. I fear it much like I fear thunder. It's not the thunder that scares me. It's the suggestion of the storm.