Leap of Faith

Dallas. Wow. We really painted the town Saturday night. From the club to the hotel to house. We just didn't stop. The guys put on an amazing show, really, the best I've seen of them. I wasn't screaming for nothing.
Band-Aids are there because of the music.
After hours of waiting through shitty metal bands for the results and slipping Meagan drinks, we finally got to go home to lick our wounds and drink some more. You'd think there'd be more to do at a hotel party. At the Plaza no less! So Danielle and I went onto the balcony next door and started making paper airplanes out of the phonebook and lighting them on fire to throw at our counterparts next door. Probably how Led Zeppelin got their start, eh? I came thisclose to pissing myself. Really. Yes, sometimes we act like we're 7 years old, so what? That's my sister and I never see her, so ef you. When we bored of that, we grabbed Rob and Jackson and brought them back with us to the house. Danielle's roof has this badass pool and hot tub and all us girls' feet were just screaming for it. Then of course was pool time. I stayed in the hot tub and watched everyone play. As the sun came up, and people coupled up, I didn't mind being alone. Because even though I was at that particular moment, I didn't feel alone at all. It was the happiest night of my life to see all my friends so happy together. And with me too.
I had my world.

Hold the feeling
When you really own it
It's not suitable for rhyme
It's what changes time
From a minute to a moment...

Finally I feel like I've rested. Seemed like I hadn't slept in days. I am actually without medication right now, for financial reasons, which fucks up my sleeping real bad. But I am toughing it out, brave little soldier that I am. Shouldn't last too much longer. Especially since I got a new job yesterday. Today I am officially a Clerk. I'll be peddling overpriced gasoline and overpriced cigarettes for Riverside Chevron during my days now. I know I mentioned this before but that's My Chevron, and as insignificant as it is, I'm really excited to be working there. Mostly for the prescription drug plan, heh. Can't live without that. But I'm also really good acquaintances with the other peeps that work there. This ghetto girl, named--of all things-- Danielle, got me the job. I think I have good luck with that name for some reason. But after being in jail for so long I've grown a deep affection for the ghetto girls, especially the sweet ones. Once last winter she helped me buy the good but cheapest kind of medicines they had when I was sick with the flu and my old roomate was in Lufkin and I didn't have anyone. I'll never forget that. I suppose in my own way I'm kinda ghetto myself. Well I mean I've seen more on the streets than all of my friends. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better. A girl can't have too many girlfriends!

Speaking of having too many girlfriends, I think I've made a decision. No. You wish. Worse. I'm giving celibacy a go again. The guys I've slept with haven't been worthy of me and I know it. It bites. And so another one bites the dust.
I challenge you:
Why waste my time with things I won't regret but won't remember?
Anyone?
I can only hope that one day a Man will come along that I find worthy enough to give myself to once more. It's an open-ended leap of faith for sure.
I won't be holding my breath.

A sarcastic asshole that can write like the devil will be the death of me. This I know.