What does it mean when you shave your legs and put on lingerie and get all ready to have sex with your fuck buddy and then he finally comes over, but he'd rather just go to sleep?? In your bed. What the fuck is that? Boys continue to confuse me. But it's actually really good news. He resisted me. He must not love me, and this time I'm glad. I mean we're friends, and it's nice to have him over here with me, but we are NOT together, and I think last night made that evident. Thank god. And I lied to my 20-year old because he just reminds me of a puppy dog. I can't keep him off me, so I told him I was on the rag. Ha! And he still suffocated me. What the hell is going on? I went years without getting laid. So I was all about it once I started to. Now betwixt FB, my 20-year old, and the random catcalls from the street, I feel like I'm drowing in dick. Yeah.
Why can't I attract cash money like I'm attracting these boys?? Sheesh.
I think I've found myself in that comfortable rut Gingerfish used to wax poetic about. Well, he really "borrowed" the idea from my man Hunter S. Thompson. Regardless, it changed my life and the way I looked at things in general. I was strong enough to break out of it then. And I have been strong (in spurts) since. I am strong enough to help Steph out of her own comfortable rut. It was I who advised her about this "comfortable rut." Ironically, I am finding myself stuck there yet again. I'm such an asshole. I am only halfway responsible for my life right now. I have done pretty well, but I have stalled somewhere along the line here lately. I may have done well so far, but I know I could do far better.
...someday you will ache like I ache...
So I got my blood tests back from the doctor. I have what they call Celiac Syndrome, otherwise known as Living Hell. Apparently I am allergic to gluten, which means wheat, flour, and all things grain. Think about what that means. I exist on pizza, burritos, ramen noodles, and grilled cheese sandwiches. This was the very last fucking thing I ever wanted to hear. It seems that I have to quit everything! Of course drugs, now bread, cigarettes, being fucking lazy, etc. The list goes on. Heh. Do you know how hard it is to break a habit or addiction?? I've even done it, and only through environmental change and an out of sight--out of mind attitude. But I've been eating bread and pasta and the like my entire life! I was a drug addict for only a handful of years. And you can't just put bread "out of sight--out of mind." I mean come on. This is the real world.
This is the real world. Oh. My. God. ...Shit.
Jam for the Day: Fins by Jimmy Buffett
6 comments:
Maybe it was the gluten that lead your brain to drugs.
...at least thats what we'll say, right?
haha
Oh, and what kind of lingerie. That's an important detail in determining if sleep makes any sense at all.
Either that or I'm just interested in lewd details.
One of those.
Verification word: imchris
But I'm not!
black mesh/lace nightie. matching panties. pink silk robe, black heels. yeah heels. and he went to sleep.
It's interesting how some things I've read say that allergies and depression go hand in hand. Everything's all intertwined and shit.
I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I want you to feel better, but I know how hard it would be to cut gluten out completely (my bro and uncle had the wheat allergies). Plus all that shit from the health food stores is so expensive! Bleh. Bleh, I say!
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Life is all about comfortable illusions.
At least your diagnosis wasn't Hepatitis C - my little reminder of years of addiction. Good news, though, I'm four months into the interferon treatment and, so far, virus free.
Anyone who goes to sleep when faced with that outfit had better seriously check themselves.
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