This celibacy thing is a little more tricky than I thought. That's all I'll say about that. But I think it's definately a good idea. Though I fear I'll be awfully lonely and more than a bit boring. I love my new job at the Chevron. I'll be working all the time now so I'll finally have some money in my pocket. I am quite relieved about that. I also have good, close friends now that keep me occupied. I am quite happy with them. I have beautiful people to chat with during the in between times. I am quite happy with them as well. I am, however, troubled--by things so abstract nobody gets it, and it's not just you, it's just that nobody gets it. That's my problem. It's frustrating. Like today there was this Mexican gentleman in the Chevron asking for directions and have you ever given someone directions in Spanish?? Shit man. Broken Spanish no less. I just had to walk in at that moment. The problem is that I care too much. So I'm reaching for words and more or less straining to search the blurred archives of my brain and he's just looking at me, expecting me to give him what he needs. But I had only a bit of what he needed. I saw that the frustration in his eyes was just the same as in mine. It was awkward and I just wanted to get away. I feel exactly the same way now. I feel exactly the same way all of the time, about everything. Sucks.
Jam for the Day: Maps by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
3 comments:
Working in customer service, I'd feel the same way - concerned and frustrated if I couldn't help people with what they needed. Or would think about them even after I went home at night. And most other coworkers wouldn't understand why you didn't just say "psshht" and blow them off. You're such a sweet compassionate person - rare to find in most jobs working with the public these days.
:)
So when you say celibacy, do you mean no sex with other people, or no sex at all?
Cause if it's the latter, then damn, man. Good luck with that.
lol...umm, not the latter.
:P
Post a Comment