Monday, December 05, 2005

All My Exes Live In Texas

So tonight I went down to The Drag to sell some old clothes to the resale shops. I was waiting for the bus to go home because I was sleepy and in a sour mood. When I go out walking and shit, I wear my mp3 player. It makes walking around kinda surreal and much more fun. Remember this fact. Well here comes the bus. All I want to do is get home. I get on the bus, slide my card, and head for the first open seat, which happened to be at the very back where it kinda spreads out. So I sat down and posted up because it's kind of a long ride. I looked out the window and fixed my bag and looked up and there was this guy coming towards me. Remember, I can't hear anything but Bright Eyes. The rest is like a dream. I looked the man in the face and it was my ex-boyfriend whom I hadn't had contact with in almost two years and the last time I saw him was quite a traumatic experience. This is a man that I vowed never to speak to again. This is a man whose letters I refused. This is a man who raised his hand to me. This is a man who used me and destroyed my life. This is a man whom I last saw in College Station. And out of nowhere I am face to face with him on the fucking bus in Austin. My eyes were wide when they met his, but all I could do was just look down and hide my face. The bus stopped. I guess he got that I didn't want to know him anymore because when I was able to compose myself and deal with the situation, I looked up and he was hopping off the bus. And that was it. Never said a word. Don't know if he said anything because all I could hear was Conor Oberst whining in my ear. It all happened so fast and was so surreal. I don't know what to think. I never thought I'd see him again. I have never just denied someone like that. I truly didn't mean to, but I didn't know he would run away. I am glad he did though.

I don't ever, ever want to see any of my ex-boyfriends, any of them, ever again. And this one wasn't even the worst one. It was pretty bad, but He's still lurking about Central and East Texas. Not cool.

I cannot believe this shit happened tonight.

The crazy thing is, is that it was like, fated or something. Check it out: I fucked up twice trying to ride the bus on the way there. I kinda dozed off on the bus and when I looked up I didn't recognize where I was so I got off the bus but it turns out that I got off way too early. I was so pissed. Then I did it again. All I could do was laugh at myself because I have gone that route many times and got it right every time. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me...but if I hadn't done that shit I wouldn't have been at that place at that time and I wouldn't have seen him. That kinda creeps me out.

So after that S called to take me out but I just wasn't up to it so I declined. He was really cool about it though and said, and I quote: "Don't commit. Just call me when you wanna do something." Awesome.

I have decided to let ya'll in on my "big secret" tomorrow. You will then understand the full impact of what happened to me tonight. That shit made me realize that it cannot be avoided any longer. Prizes to anyone who can guess what it is...

Jam for the Day: It's My Life by No Doubt

5 comments:

Yossarian said...

sorry girl

Blush said...

dont be sorry...i live my life to tell stories like this...

Nervous said...

Holy crap, that must've been quite a shock! I guess he must've been shocked too, but I wonder what he would've said had he not run off...
Weirdness.

Blush said...

thank yall for not guessing and ruining the surprise

unkind said...

I just dumped a girl from Austin. I'm not sure if that gives me any insight into your situation, but it might.