Festivus for the Rest of Us

This has been probably the best Christmas since Santa stopped showing up. I am thoroughly contented. Even though I told my mom not to buy me any gifts because I really need cash instead, she went ahead and did it anyway, and I was so surprised. A terrycloth robe, among other things. Even my ex-co-workers sent me a card they made themselves especially for me (featured above.) Jeffy photoshopped me a Conor Oberst Christmas card. I have never laughed so hard or been so appreciative of a Christmas present. I love those guys. I hope they like their coupons for free burritos! Holla!

So yesterday I flew into Houston to meet my father. I was very excited because I love to fly, and I haven't in years. This is also kind of a big deal to me because I will never forget being in prison and watching the planes pass overhead and just yearning for that kind of freedom. It's funny the things that you miss once you've had your freedom taken away. So I vowed that I would get myself on a plane to somewhere as soon as possible, and even though it was only Houston, I was much pleased. But going up this time was so different than it was before. Before it didn't mean anything. It was a means to an end. Now when I see the curvature of the earth meet the blue haze of ozone, observe the golden sunlight reflecting off of a lake, or watch a cumulostratus empty itself onto the earth, it's so real. It's amazing. All of it.

So today was our traditional "country" Christmas (we had our "city" Christmas yesterday) and it was just as I remember it. Football, Ambrosia, and Skeet Shootin' in the backyard. It was perfect. The only thing that had changed was me. I always had something to hide before; not anymore. It makes me so happy. So free.

But perhaps the best gift I got, perhaps the best gift I've ever been given, is a simple silver band bracelet my mother totally surprised me with. It has a quote from Emerson inscribed on it: What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. I will wear this everyday without fail.

I cried as the church choir lifted their voices to Oh Holy Night. "Fall on your knees" gets me everytime.