Random Notes (Just Thinking)

Tonight some high school chick hollered at me hanging out of a pink stretch limo, driving by the bus stop. How's that for random? It's not even Prom. Fuck. Is it?

I catch myself looking at babies all the time. They are so very interesting. What the fuck is wrong with me? If I wanted a kid I could have had one.

This coked-up old-school rocker talked me up on the bus and was talking about how he's friends with one of the guys from The Butthole Surfers, and how that guy was in rehab with Kurt Cobain before he escaped and killed himself. He told it in such detail, and I know the story so well because I've really read up on all that shit, I think I actually believe him. Maybe I just want to. He proceded to tell me another story about when he saw Veruca Salt open up for Hole that I was familiar with also... Either a wacko liar, or a really cool cokehead. One of the two, never can be too sure about the difference between those. Ha.

Check out the new place. Lots of new links and shit. I decided that if I'm going to do this I'm going to fucking do it. Right? It's just delight for your boredom.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be a ripe old 24 years of age. I feel like I am so wise, so world-weary. I am a walking, talking cliché.

Because tomorrow is my birthday, there will be a celebration. Well it will be a joint celebration with my birth-mate Ricky. I love this fucker. He makes me so happy. When we work together he makes me laugh so hard I nearly piss my pants every time. And we both work tomorrow. So afterward our whole crew is going to this bar to get wasted. It's just the truth. But Ricky gets off at 10 whilst I have to close. With Rob. The other night Rob came over to my house with Travis to tune my guitar so I can learn to play it. Rob and Travis are in a band called Pocket Full of Deng (I don't know what it means, they don't either) and Rob plays drums. I have mentioned him before. He is really cool, and the first guy I've met in ages that is actual boyfriend material. (Whatever that means.) He was even an Eagle Scout if you can believe that. His band has an EP coming out this month and they have a small gig during the South by Southwest Music Festival. Anyway, we were really flirting. And then again tonight. Since Rob and I close tomorrow, he's my ride to my party. And you know what that means. That means he's going to be the one "responsible" to take me home. Now this puts me in a pickle. I don't know how much I like Rob but he's sweet and I'm attracted to him. But I work with him. But I want to be with someone so bad! And what if I pass up something that could be wonderful? Danielle pointed out that I won't work there forever. This is true. And I would only maybe work with him twice a week the way my schedule is. So imagine, tomorrow night...I will be drunk, for sure, being taken home by a guy I have a bit of a crush on, that I believe has a bit of a crush on me. What could two crazy kids do? Something crazy. And just think of the rumors! I'd like to think that I'm above all that shit, at my age. (ha.) But my best hook-ups have been within the "group." That's just I how I roll. I don't know what I'm going to do! I feel almost certain a situation will come up if I act like I want to act. I can't pretend I'm not excited as hell. Is this a time I should play it safe (a first for me) or should I practice what I preach and follow my heart? Or follow my body? Is that okay?

I am of the mind to say 'fuck it.' Que será, será, right?