Friday, September 09, 2005

Under your skin

Blogging is weird because sometimes I just don't know what to say but I do it anyway. So I am sitting here waiting on him but he eludes me. It is Friday night and everyone else is at the bar but I don't care to be there. Everyone else has no bearing on me. I am stronger than them. I am made of water. Put me anywhere you want, I'll fit. I'll make it work. I'll fill up your glass and let you drink me dry and piss me out only to return to where I came from. But where is that you ask? I am all liquid transparent glass invisible fortune floating down a stream of consciousness. Neptune and all his satellites swim through my hair in the deep, dark, freezing hollow of your soul without even noticing.

So I am so tired and busy and locked into the grooves of routine, I may never be free of this apathy. Only one evokes feeling but that one is nowhere to be found. He is something completely intangible. What do you call love you cannot hold? He is like water in my hands. Look at me trying to be mysterious and abstract and failing miserably. I said look, dammit! This is a record of my failures...I must document my love. Don't you love me back? Don't you want me still? Aren't I finally good enough? Wait, what took you so long to answer? You're not masturbating to my yearbook picture again, are you?

Please don't try to follow me, I'm going nowhere.

In your endless summer night, I'll be on the other side
When the water is too deep, I will ease your suffering
When the glitter fades in morning, turn away and you will find my empty eyes
Your beauty blinds

Celebrity Skin by Hole is the fucking best album ever. Period.

5 comments:

Nervous said...

That was beautiful, just beautiful. I hope you get your response... I know how much it sucks to wait.

Blush said...

and thank you, it means alot to me that you find my writing beautiful. more than alot.

Blush said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mireille said...

this is beautiful. xoxo

YasminDano said...

this is really nice and I like your blog a lot. Howdy from a fellow texan :)