Unprecedented

This weekend was completely extra-ordinary. (I hyphenate to accentuate the meaning of that word because it is oftentimes misused. And because I care.) Anyway what I thought was going to be the lamest motorcycle rally of them all was frickin' fun as shit. I'm having a hard time telling this story (finally I have one to tell!) because there is so much you don't know, but I'll try to do my best and fill you in. It had to be done I guess.

Let me describe a motorcycle rally to you. It is something I would never attend of my own free will. Like a carnival centered around bikers. I work for a motorcycle detailing company so I have to go to these to try to "sell more wax" and I make extra cash cleaning bikes with it (which is the hottest, dirtiest job in the world.) But for the most part we just sit out in the Texas heat trying to sell wax to drunk bikers and bullshitting around. There is usually some kind of southern-rock cover band and fake tits as far as the eye can see. Not my kind of place at all. Sometimes the crotch-rocket guys are hot, but they are completely self-absorbed, so f-them. Other than that, there are the vendors, who are your random ragtag vagabonds, god bless 'em. The fun part is that me and my coworker roll pretty much the same way--we know how to party. So sometimes we do. This was one of those weekends.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, and circumstances within my control, I have been celibate for almost two years--for clarity you might say. I am utterly and completely disillusioned with romance/love/sex and I just don't really care to participate. And partly I am way out of practice, and very nervous about possibly getting back into the "swing" of things. I am very cynical when it comes to the opposite sex.

Okay I think I can go ahead with the story now. (We were out there the entire weekend, living in our motor-home, so following events happened in a two and a half day span.) On Friday evening, my coworker left to go fishing with his buddies off the coast. I was determined to find something to do. I knew there had to be somebody cool to hang out with there. Earlier in the day a vendor boy had offered me some of the skillet potatoes he sold. I thought he looked cute in his glasses. So I went over there and it was way obvious that he wanted me. So I thought it would be fun to flirt, but what I found out was that he could actually roll with me. Holy shit! I was like a teenager--it was sickening--but so fun. When he got off work he came to my motor-home and we had a great time watching tv and laughing. He stole my heart when we were talking about our jobs and he said "You know we're just carnies, right??" I nearly laughed my ass off. He wasn't the kind of guy I usually like to holla at but he was so nice and so genuine. We got to talking and--who would have guessed--he had been through a divorce a couple years ago and was kinda dealing with the exact same celibacy issue as me. Now don't deduct anything extra from that--haha--what I mean is that it was so nice to relate to someone--I had been dreading feeling awkward and nervous--but he was just as nervous to be with someone else as I was, so I wasn't embarrassed at all. What a perfect situation--I couldn't believe it! So my trepidation dispensed and I found out I am still a normal person.

I didn't go see The Hunger because I was so tired from this weekend and hung-over. I have a great pic of this five year old boy who did bike tricks riding his tiny pocket-rocket. I will post it when I get it from my coworker's camera tomorrow. There was also this little boy who's mom was with the tourism board who had a crush on me. They were hanging around us because his daddy was getting a tattoo and mom didn't want little TJ to see it, heh. He was a super-cute blonde sweetie-pie. It is quite flattering to have a little kid infatuated with you--so innocent and charming! There is so little of that in the world these days! So I gave him some of the leather conditioner that we sell for his new leather "biker" gloves that he was so proud of.

Man there is so much more to say about this weekend...I had so many great thoughts--luckily I wrote some down. I will get to them later in the week, so expect some of my best work to date! I also fell in love with Conor Oberst for about the 27th time on Saturday evening, so expect more Bright Eyes lyrics than usual. Hopefully I can turn Yossarian on to that best song in the world that he's been looking for--cause god knows Conor has written some of them. :P

Sorry this one's so long and unfunny, unthoughtful, and decidedly un-cute. I'll make up for it. Promise.

So I am reminded of things I've forgotten
The way doors can open and people just walk in
It's not unexpected, no its just how you planned it
Beginning to think that it might never happen
Well now it is happening...
So we've been selected in this beautiful lottery
We struggled so long but it ended so easy
It's starting to surface, all golden and godlike
This feeling we had every day and every night
It bursts into energy
A door it is opening...
-Conor Oberst "Blue Angels"