The Real World

My new life begins today. Stay tuned.

Jam for the day: We Are Free Men by Bright Eyes

Say It Ain't So

Today has been a nice day, because the cool front finally came through. It was 100 degrees outside yesterday, and it didn't even reach 80 today. I am thankful for the reprieve. It has been close to unbearable here for the past 6 months or so. So I am all packed up. Ready to go. Talked to my shrink today and she thinks this will be good for me. I wish I had something else to talk about. I feel like I should be doing much more but there isn't really very much to do. I have been sitting on my ass for over a week now and it's starting to get to me. I think I have gained some weight. And I am going to be sitting on my ass for a long time tomorrow. The bus ride from here to Austin is 7.5 hours. Damn! I am so bored. I am nervous. I will miss my cat. I will miss my mother. I will miss my comfortable rut.

Jam for the Day: The Blue Album by Weezer

*Sigh*

What do I say about today? It was just another day. I'm ready to leave. But not until Friday. So that gives me one more day to wait. I am very excited about Austin, but nervous. What if I fail? No one will be there to help. What if I succeed? What is success? Will I know it when I have it? Probably not. So what am I shooting for here? I need to make some goals. But I am bad at making goals, because I never know what is truly attainable. I have lofty dreams, but I never make goals. That is probably why I never reach them. Well, I do have a few vague goals, but I need to improve on them. I am just so indecisive. They say indecisiveness is a symptom of depression. Ha. But the biggest liar in the world is "they say." So I do not know what to believe. But I do know this:

1. I need a job
2. I need an apartment
3. I need a car

So there ya go. Those are my goals for right now. I could probably throw "make friends" or "fall in love" in there somewhere, but I have a hard time seeing how those would be goals, because if you try too hard in those areas, you will inevitably fail. So I am just going to have faith. I am awesome, so surely the Austinites will pick up on that. And I am beautiful, so surely at least a few guys will see that. The aforementioned goals are the more difficult ones though, I'm afraid. But somebody told me that starting over in a new city rules. I hope he's right.

Jams for the Day: Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle by Nirvana and Laura Laurent by Bright Eyes

Chameleon

The decision has been made, for good or ill. Blush will now be blogging from Austin, Texas. A new chapter in my life has begun, beginning with finding a way to actually get to Austin. I am planning on being there permanently by Friday. I have kind of mixed emotions over this. I mean, I have been wanting to move to The ATX for a while, but I did not think it would be like this. Not that it would have been ideal any way it happened, heh. That is not how my life works. But I am very excited. It is time to start living life for a change...and I am finally alive. I have never been "on my own" before. So I am scared. There is so much change. New city, new job, new house, new friends, and a new life altogether. I will finally have the freedom that I so desire. I hope that I fare well. I could probably be more eloquent about this, but fuck it. These emotions are too basic and too premature to go into any real detail. Plus, I expect them to change at a moment's notice, so don't get too worked up thinking I am upset. I am like the weather in Texas: wait 5 minutes, and I'll change.

Jam for right now: Nothing Gets Crossed Out by Bright Eyes

Easy/Lucky/Free

Today I went to a funeral. My father's uncle. He was 87 years old. It was a nice service, and I got to see a lot of family that I don't run into very often. The deceased was a WWII hero. My favorite part was when they folded the flag. It was very moving. He was very soft spoken, even in his younger years. The eulogy was so pretty. The preacher spoke out of the book of Matthew, the Beatitudes in particular. Funerals always make me think of my own funeral. What music would I want? Who all would come? What should I wear? I think I will write out detailed instructions for my funeral, because I think in many ways that is the most important party you will ever (never) attend. This particular funeral was in my hometown. The Gipsons bury everyone who was anyone. I hope they bury me too. The funeral home is a solemn place, but perhaps that's because I have been to so many different funerals there. My grandparents, my friend's parents, my own friends. Going there always makes me think--but in a weird, empty way. It's like, I get this feeling, and it's a distinctive, reflective, I-should-be-thinking-something-profound feeling, but I don't. Maybe I am shallow, but I am always more concerned with the flowers or the music or the people left behind. I see the deceased in the coffin, and although they inevitably look terrible, I envy them. Yes, I envy them. I long to be at rest like that. They are loosed of this world, of all the worry and pain and problems. Then I look around and see everyone else. For some, the worry, pain, and problems have just begun. Like the baby girl who lost her mother, my friend. Or the newlywed wife who lost her maid-of-honor. Then there are funerals of the elderly, like today's. I see the other old people. Who's next? When my grandmother died, we found a whole drawer full of funeral programs and obituaries. It was like, nearly everyone she knew, all her friends, much of her family, the people she grew up with, were all dead. Do I want to live to be that old? I treasure my friends and loved ones. What would that be like? To be the only one left? Perish the thought. I miss them all too much already.

Jam for the day: Easy/Lucky/Free by Bright Eyes

The Coldest One

Okay, I admit it. I watch Desperate Housewives and I love it. I love it. It's my guilty pleasure. It is a delight to watch Bree van de Kamp every Sunday. She's the proverbial bomb. The coldest one. Now that Rex is dead I can't wait to see what she'll be up to next. I mean, homegirl is a lifetime member of the NRA. She almost banned her mother-in-law from her husband's funeral. And she makes some damn pretty gift baskets. Marcia Cross kicks all those bitches' asses, Eva Longoria and Nicolette Sheridan combined. She is hard-core. I wish I could be more like her. 'Cause you just don't fuck with Bree and get away with it. I mean, really. Ask Rex. Oh wait you can't, because he's dead. Yeah. That's probably why I enjoy her so much, because she is very much my opposite. I don't know why everyone loves Teri Hatcher's character...Susan is retarded. She embarrasses me just to watch her. Well, she was actually okay in this particular episode, because she broke up with Mike. I hope Bree steals Mike away from Susan this season. That would be the shit. She would officially be my hero then. Which Desperate Housewife is your favorite? Don't tell me you don't have one...

http://abc.go.com/primetime/desperate/

Business as Usual

So we made it through the storm. Our house and yard has minimal damage, but we went without power for a whole day. Luckily we had a generator. I can't say as much for the rest of the town. There are trees uprooted everywhere. Lots of houses have roof damage. You should see the lines at the gas stations. Now I understand what they mean when they talk about the gas shortage of the 1970's. But I did see one funny thing. We went to Big K-Mart (not by choice, it was the only thing open) and there was this morbidly obese lady walking out. She was wearing a Red Cross Disaster Relief apron-type thingy, so I assume she worked with the Red Cross. She was carrying like 8 full bags--full of candy! Reese's, Kit-Kats, Nestle's Crunch, etc., etc. Wtf is that all about?? It made me wonder if that was for her or for the refugees. heheh. But why would the Red Cross be giving candy to refugees?? Anyway, there is not much else to say about that. Everything for us is back to normal. Business as usual.

Jam for the day: We Are Nowhere and It's Now by Bright Eyes

As you wish

I just got finished watching one of the enduring classics of my time, The Princess Bride. You've got to be a cold piece of shit not to love this movie. Westley (Carey Elwes) sure does make me hot. I don't know why he doesn't make more movies...I would probably go broke just to look at him. And his accent...grrr. Anyway, there is more to this movie than just him. I won't talk about it too much, because you've probably already seen it or if you haven't you need to, but here are some of my favorite lines:

"There's not much money in revenge."

"Life is pain. If anyone tries to tell you different it's because they're selling something."

And everybody's favorite,

"Inconceivable!"

Any Takers?

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

In the path of destruction

Check it out: it took my dad 21 hours to get here from Houston yesterday in the evacuation traffic. Ain't that some shit?? It is usually a 2 hour drive. And he didn't pee the whole time. They even opened all the major highways to flow outbound only on both sides. So we all came up here to get away from the storm, but then it took a turn and is coming straight for us. It was supposed to go further west towards College Station and central Texas. But we are pretty far inland so it will be much smaller by then, probably only a category 1 or less. Today we have been securing everything outside and making sure there is nothing that could turn into a missile when the wind starts blowing. My little town is flooded with evacuees, the hotels are full so they are chilling in churches, elementary schools, and parking lots. Even the big ass Chevron station down the street is out of gas. All this shit makes me wonder what the devastation is going to be like. It will probably flood down in Houston where I work. And all the refineries along the coast will be hit, which could mean demoralizing gas prices for the entire country. Next week could turn out to be hellish--the clean-up process could be unbelievable. But that is the thing. No one knows what is going to happen. It's just one big IF.
But at least Yossarian and Unkind K will be happy if things turn out badly, because they hate Texas.
Cheers!

Jam for the day: MargaRITAville by Jimmy Buffett

Thursday Night Lights

For those of you who might not have gotten the word, Texas A&M plays Texas State tonight, instead of Saturday because of the hurricane. That there is my boy Reggie McNeal, who had his best day ever last weekend vs. SMU (and who I also went to high school with.) There is this tradition we have in Aggieland that when the team scores, you score--which means you get to kiss your date. So turn on the Fox Sports Network, and hunker down with the one you love (or the one you're with) and get ready to make out. This game proves to be a good one. Beat the hell outta Texas State! Gig 'em Aggies! Whoop!

That's the way

Today has been a badass day. First thing this morning we evacuated. I drove the motorhome. What would have been a 2 hour trip turned into a 4 hour trip because of all the peeps hauling ass out of Houston, which was totally okay by me because I had a Bright Eyes marathon--it was the bomb, as they sometimes say. I also had fun radioing back and forth to the other people in our caravan, saying shit like "Roger" and "10-4" and pretending I was some kind of trucker. I'm a dork like that. And there were reporters on the side of the road taking photographs of the evacuation so I waved and gave them my best and brightest smile. I was probably the only person on the road that was happy to be there. I can't explain it, but things like this don't bother me at all. This is the kind of stress that I like. Maybe I am weird, but I am probably just cooler than everyone else. Yeah, that must be it. I mean, I can't come to any other conclusion...

So now the evacuee count here is as follows:

9 humans
3 cats
2 guinea pigs
1 dog

Luckily my parents have a large, sprawling house. We had so much fun today. There are copious amounts of food, and I think we are making a beer run tomorrow, so it is going to be like a long holiday weekend/hurricane party. I want to make margaRITAs. Heheh. Two of the humans are kids, and the six year old girl is just darling. She picked up my guitar and rocked out like a natural. I was so proud. But I had to send them out of the room so I could watch Southpark, which is still one of the best shows on television. Stan was bummed out so they took him to a restaurant called "Raisins" to cheer him up. Raisins is the little girl's version of Hooters. I guess you had to see it, but trust me, it was hilarious. Anyway, this weekend proves to be fun, as we are going to the zoo tomorrow, and to the Forest Festival (which is like a state fair/carnival) this weekend. Who knew a natural disaster could be so much fun?

Having all these people here really has made this house feel like a home for the first time. My family is like the anti-family, but the peeps here are totally nuclear, almost out of a storybook. We have had so much fun it has made me want a family of my own. I wonder if I could manage it like they have. I mean, Mom and Dad are still in love, and actually communicate with each other and their children. They are a team. Mom and Dad love and respect the kids, and the kids love and respect Mom and Dad. I wasn't even sure that could happen...I thought the whole familial love thing was just a myth perpetuated by psychiatrists to make money. Now I am seeing that it is a possibility, if you play your cards right. Maybe all it takes is finding the right person to start a family with. Or maybe it just takes work. Hopefully one day I will know the answers to these questions. And hopefully I won't find out the hard way.

In other news, I took the most ridiculously awesome shower today. It was one of those showers where I wished there was someone there to share it with me. Dirty showers are the best. It made me realize that I need a man in the worst way. Any man will do, as long as he gets the hell out the next morning. And don't let the door hit your ass on the way. I had been of the mind that there could be more than that, but this week he affirmed for me that it cannot be. Now I remember why I am celibate. Assinine feelings always seem to ruin things for me. I don't care anyway. Whatever. Right?

Jam for the day: Lover I Don't Have to Love by Bright Eyes

Evacuation

So they are evacuating Galveston and the surrounding area because of Hurricane Rita. That includes us because we are in South Houston and that's not very far away. So we are loading up our shit and going home to East Texas to hide in the woods for a long weekend. It's a good place to hide, really. Bonnie and Clyde hid there for years.

I am in a much improved state. It seems that the major personal disaster has been averted by the major natural disaster...at least for a short time. So I have a few more days of relative peace. I also now have a plan for when disaster strikes, and it's awesome. In fact it is in many ways better than Plan A. We will see what happens. The really good news about Plan B is that I will definately have internet access so there shouldn't be too much of an interruption in my blogging. I know ya'll were all biting your nails in anxiety about that one...ha.

Life might be complete if he were here. Maybe.

Blush Brunette

I got my hair dyed true brunette this last weekend and I wanted ya'll to see it. What do you think??

Who'll stop the rain?

Well I am feeling a tiny bit better this morning. Just a tiny bit. I think one of my problems may have resolved itself, in that it is seemingly nonexistent. But then there is the bigger problem. I still feel sick, but some kind of ethereal grace tells me that it will be okay. I don't know what that means, but I suppose it will be okay anyway.
So today I am merely trying to make it. I have given things some thought and I now really realize for the first time that any trials I must face I must face alone. That in itself is daunting but I have been virtually alone all my life so I do not know why I am so afraid now. I must remember that when times get tough, and times will definately be tough, the tough must get going.
And I am tough.

Manic Monday

Let me first extend my apologies to my few lovely readers concerning my short, inexpressive posts this past week. I have just not been feeling it, I'm sure ya'll understand. But I have not been busy and that leaves me no excuse. So please, forgive me.
Today I have been so manic. If you were to see me, you'd never guess. I have been calm and quiet. But inside my nerves are wound tighter than a nun's asshole. I almost had a panic attack in the bathroom earlier. I need someone to send me some Valium--quick! Just kidding. Drugs are bad.
I am anticipating two future events that literally make me sick with fear. I am so afraid of said events that I darenot tell you what they are lest I speak them into existence. Which is even worse because that just pulls the nerves even tighter as I have no outlet. This was supposed to be my outlet, but certain people found out about it and I don't trust them not to use it against me. (Don't you hate when that happens?)
So instead of becoming more candid like I so desire, I must become even more vague--at least until I move far, far away from this awful situation I have gotten myself into. And that's the worst part--I have only myself to blame. Where is the federal government when you need them?? (haha.)
Where is he? I long to hear his voice. Smell his shirt. Kiss his lips.
I have seriously considered quitting blush reality several times. Most recently this weekend. But I would miss my new friends too much. And I need this for me. Like I have said before, this is a record of my failures--I must document my love. And that's exactly what this is. A testament of my love for you, and as awkward as it may be, my love for me. By maintaining a platform upon which to display my inner self, I am subconsciously affirming blush the person (whoever that is...)
So instead of being a goddamned quitter, I have decided to try and keep this shit going my entire life. I figure there will be some down time, but I will be interested to go back when I am grey and remember when I was green. How 'bout it? Are you down?

Today's Planetary Indulgence

You're probably very excited about a forthcoming journey you'll be taking, though you may be unclear about the arrangements. Don't let this situation persist, or your trip might not work out the way you hope. Get in touch with people who know what's what, and get as much information as you can from them. This way before you get on that plane, you'll know everything that's ahead. Enjoy your day.

Oh Jessica, what have you started??

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you! Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter. You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you. You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives. Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours. No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

More spice than sugar, I guess...

Your Inner Child Is Naughty

Like a child, you tend to discount social rules. It's just too much fun to break the rules! You love trouble - and it seems that trouble loves you. And no matter what, you refuse to grow up!

How Is Your Inner Child?

Great Blue Birds

Most people don't like to live near the airport. I can see why, because of the noise, and usually the area surrounding the airport is ghetto. Not me. I like it. I like to sit outside and watch the planes depart and arrive. My favorites are the Southwest Airlines planes. They are like great blue birds taking off and landing. I think about the people on the plane. Where are they going? Where are they coming from? Who are they sitting by? Are they meeting a lover? Are they going on vacation? Maybe they are starting life anew. I always wish I were there with them. There is something so exciting and amazing about flying. As close to the airport as I am, you can see how truly massive some of the planes are. Yet they soar through the sky, always headed somewhere. I long for freedom like that.

Big Props

Congratulations are in order for my girl "Hilly" whom I just received an email from informing me that she is soon to be wed. This is incredible to me because of the history between these two. Back in high school, when we were in 10th grade, she fell head over heels for this guy, let's call him "Senior." She was so obsessed with Senior that she was a borderline stalker. I remember driving past his house in the middle of the night just to see if his blue Mustang was there. Anyway, he was pretty freaked out by this younger girl with this massive crush. If he heard she was about to show up at a party, he burnt off. Ha! Regardless, she pursued him throughout our high school career. Then we all went to A&M. A couple of years ago I saw Hilly and Senior at a concert and wondered about them. Were they actually dating?? Were they just friends?? Well now I've got a wedding to go to. Old boy finally came around, umm...8 years later. Big props to my girl for knowing what she wanted and going after it...now she's got it! If you would have told me 8 years ago that it would work out this way I would have laughed out loud at the mere suggestion. I guess I should take a cue from Hilly, and be a little more pro-active.

Life perplexes me sometimes, but in that good way.

Hilarious.

What else can you say about something like this?

Big Pimpin'

Thanks Mireille for reminding me of my most favorite poem in the world. To His Coy Mistress by Andrew Marvell is probably the finest Carpe Diem poem out there, and fully succeeds in making me horny every time. For the full transcription, check out C'est Chic.

R.U.B.-Hooters 2005

So yesterday I had my rally. Too bad it rained and nobody came. Plus we got out-disastered. The whole city of Houston is pretty bummed out, figuratively and literally, and I don't think many people feel like partying at all. Either way I had fun. And as far as my job went, everything went off without a hitch, just like I planned it.

There is really not too much to say about the day, except that it was kinda hectic (when it started raining) and the margaritas were nice and cold and strong. Do I say nice too much? Well I mean it every time. Since it was one of those things where you had to be there, I will post a few pictures for ya'll.




These are the Build-a-Bears I made for our charity auction. They are special "breast cancer survivor/biker" bears. Everyone loved them and I was so proud. So cute!









This is the band, Still Standing. They play "Texas Music" (which is like alt-country-rock) and were a big hit.
Cool guys, too.















Famed event coordinator, Blush. Told you I was having a good time. Look at that smile!








See, hardly anybody came. But it was a pretty good party nonetheless. And that's all that matters, right?

Under your skin

Blogging is weird because sometimes I just don't know what to say but I do it anyway. So I am sitting here waiting on him but he eludes me. It is Friday night and everyone else is at the bar but I don't care to be there. Everyone else has no bearing on me. I am stronger than them. I am made of water. Put me anywhere you want, I'll fit. I'll make it work. I'll fill up your glass and let you drink me dry and piss me out only to return to where I came from. But where is that you ask? I am all liquid transparent glass invisible fortune floating down a stream of consciousness. Neptune and all his satellites swim through my hair in the deep, dark, freezing hollow of your soul without even noticing.

So I am so tired and busy and locked into the grooves of routine, I may never be free of this apathy. Only one evokes feeling but that one is nowhere to be found. He is something completely intangible. What do you call love you cannot hold? He is like water in my hands. Look at me trying to be mysterious and abstract and failing miserably. I said look, dammit! This is a record of my failures...I must document my love. Don't you love me back? Don't you want me still? Aren't I finally good enough? Wait, what took you so long to answer? You're not masturbating to my yearbook picture again, are you?

Please don't try to follow me, I'm going nowhere.

In your endless summer night, I'll be on the other side
When the water is too deep, I will ease your suffering
When the glitter fades in morning, turn away and you will find my empty eyes
Your beauty blinds

Celebrity Skin by Hole is the fucking best album ever. Period.

Sigh of Relief

Okay, so I am the event coordinator for a motorcycle rally/charity event. This is my first venture into the adult world of respect and notoriety, and as insignificant as that might be, it is a big deal for me. Seems like everything I've ever tried to do in my short adult life has gotten fucked up somehow someway. Well, I just do basically what my bosses tell me to. So today someone from the city calls and is telling me that they are going to shut us down for lack of some stupid-ass permit. The event is in TWO DAYS. I am like, holy shit. All the work I've done over the past few months--for nothing. I feel sick. I think I am going to puke. I want to cry but I can't for laughing at how fucked up everything I try to do gets. I wonder what the hell is going on with me, I understand why I've fucked up before, but I've done everything right this time and things are still fucking up. What the fuck? Well, I am happy to say that things are all well again. (Thanks for the concern.) Turns out the fucker that scared me so bad was new at his job and didn't know what he was talking about. When I went up the chain of command, everything got worked out. Thank fucking god. So do not worry ya'lls pretty little heads about me, everything is fine, and probably better than before. Let's just pray that this shit goes off without a hitch. Then my resume will be krunk and I'll be on my way.
So I go to this party tonight that my volunteers put on and it's awesome because I am a big shot running shit and I am much younger and much physically smaller than all of them. That rocks. And I drank just the right amount of wine. It's nice to go to nice places and be treated nicely.
I only wish he were there with me to share my highs and my lows. I miss him so badly. When will we be together? God only knows. I wish He'd fill me in. I'm dying here.

I think I'm going to be sick.

I will tell you later.

Good Hair Day

I am so fucking busy with my rally on Saturday. Until then this is all you get. I will try again later. And yes, that is indicative of my hair today. Aren't I gorgeous? Tell me so.

Like a green persimmon

This weekend had it's ups and downs. It was a shame though that they were so extreme. Regardless, I am back at work today, and I can't believe how glad I am to be here. It can be scary out there! My best friend came down from Dallas for Labor Day. We went down to the Kemah Boardwalk, on the coast, and had a ridiculously fun time doing silly things like flirting with high school boy waiters and riding the carosel. Someday I will post some pictures. I wish I could say more about this weekend, but I am still working it out in my head. It just reminds me of this tree we used to have in our backyard at my family's home. Have you ever heard of persimmon fruit? Well I thought it was so neat that we had a real fruit tree in our yard (after moving from the city) that even though my father warned me not to eat them until they were ripe, I just couldn't wait. That is what this weekend was--bittersweet, like that green persimmon. I just hope the taste lingers. And now work is as familiar as that old tree. But at least I finally found out that I am really alive.

I'm wide awake, it's morning

Went walking this morning. Here are some things I thought about:
Gwen Stefani's album may not be her best work, but it sure is good to exersize to.
Sometime in the past year or so I must have become a woman, because I noticed my hips like, swivel when I walk. It feels kind of weird, but I guess that's a good thing.
Big rottweilers kinda scare me.
Not all grungy men walking down the street are bad-guys.
I want to take up dancing again.
Morning glories are my favorite flower.

The story of Reveille

So football season has begun! Gig 'em Aggies! Whoop! That pretty lady right there is Reveille a.k.a. The First Lady of Aggieland. The most beautiful animal you'll ever see. She is the proverbial lucky dog. Back in the day, some Corps guys were driving to College Station in their Model-T Ford and hit a dog. A&M has the biggest vet school in the state, so the largehearted Cadets wrapped the dog up and took her to the vet clinic on campus. She survived, and started hanging out around the Corps dorms. They couldn't shake her; she had found her home. She got her name because, since A&M used to be all military, they would play "Reveille" every morning to wake up students. This song drove the dog crazy with glee. Soon they began taking her to football games. This drove her crazy too. She loved that shit. Everyone in Aggieland fell in love with the lovable survivor, and eventually they made her the official mascot of Texas A&M University.

Nowadays, Reveille is the most respected Aggie on campus, and probably the most respected dog in the world. She was a guest of honor at both of President Bush's inaugurations--and she flew by private jet. If Reveille falls asleep in your bed, you sleep on the floor. If Reveille barks in class (yes, she goes to class) class is dismissed and everybody walks. She is on the roster in the classes she attends, and always receives an A grade, making her a college graduate several times over. If you are in the Corps and Reveille walks up to you, you address her as ma'am, because she is the highest ranking officer. You probably think I am making this up, but I am not. We are just nuts like that. The Aggies play Clemson tonight. We are currently ranked 17th in the nation. Wish us luck, and look for Reveille. She'll be there. Wouldn't miss it for the world. Me neither.

Good Morning

I woke up feeling refreshed this morning. It was a nice contrast from yesterday. In fact I feel so nice that I am going to get a copy of the paper and treat myself to breakfast somewhere nice. Did I just say "nice" three times in a row? Well I meant it. I don't get many mornings like this. Mornings are my favorite though. Everything is so new. It makes me feel like God made it just for me. I wish it could stay that way forever. I like to sit on porches and breathe in the day to come. This one smells like it will be sweeter than usual. I only wish I had someone to share it with.

Everyday is a winding road...

My coworker brought me the new issue of Rolling Stone. He did it of his own accord. So I am reading it. I am not sure why, because this magazine is a piece of trash if there ever was such a thing as filthy, offensive refuse. However, I have learned some cool things so far. Sheryl Crow's new album comes out September 13 and she says it is much better than the last one. I love Sheryl Crow. She rocks. Also, Liz Phair's new album comes out on October 4. I am going to finish reading this, but only as a service to you all so that you don't have to subject yourself to vulgarity of this magnitude. You can thank me later.

The Princess and the Pea

I felt like I had been hit by a bus this morning. I slept in my dad's bed and it is as hard as a fucking rock. Or maybe I am just a spoiled princess. I dunno. But I had some really wild technicolor dreams. I dreamt I was in my hometown kicking it "Garden State" style with some crazy sons-of-bitches. I dreamt I got in a physical fight with my coworker. I dreamt I caught my brother wearing my underwear. I dreamt I told my sweet, sweet mother to kiss my ass. It was all very disturbing and I don't know what to make of it. But I can tell you this: I will never sleep in that bed again.

So when I woke up I turned on the news. There is anarchy in the streets of New Orleans and all anyone can do is fucking blame the federal government. I am so fucking sick of that shit. Perhaps if people stood up and took a little responsibility for themselves as individual living human beings, we wouldn't have all the trouble we seem to have in these trying modern times. I'm not saying there wouldn't be any, but I get the distinct feeling there wouldn't be so much confusion in the streets. Know what I mean? Now's not the time to place blame.

So here we are mobilizing for the upcoming adventure into No Man's Land. Collecting water, food, tools, and gasoline for the expedition. There is this energy in the air--it's electric. Sometimes I wish every day were chaos.

Check out XTX's friend Katrina's (ironic) rescue journey at:
http://katrinaversuskatrina.blogspot.com/

Two Completely Separate Missions

Holy shit listen to this: My coworker's grandmother lives north of New Orleans and he just found out today she is stranded there in a house with no electricity, running water, etc. So he wants to go get her, but my Dad (who is our boss) won't let him go alone because he is "partially retarded" and would probably end up being killed or coming home with a truck-load full of displaced New Orleans prostitutes. So tomorrow they are loading up the truck with tools they might need and all the gas cans we can fill up to take to the peeps in Louisiana. How exciting is that?? I thought about going, and I really want to, but I can't because I have to stay here and work because we all can't be gone with the rally next weekend. So that sucks. But how exciting! A real-life adventure!

In other news, I went to the store and bought myself two bottles of cheap-ass wine. I am currently on a real-life mission to get so drunk I forget about you. I love you too much already, and there's a good chance I can never have you. It was either this, or go home from the bar with some poser I can't fucking stand. So instead I drink alone. C'est la vie. I have found out the hard way that my love clearly doesn't conquer all. One bottle down, one to go...self destruction rules!

Louisiana lives up to its reputation

So my uncle came over today. He is a funny motherfucker. My dad thinks that he is funny, but my uncle is funnier. He was telling this story about a guy he overheard in a restaurant. Right before the hurricane, every fisherman in Texas was somewhere off the coast because the storm is supposed to stir up the fish or something. Well this dumbass goes "them micro-orgasms musta been in the water, because me and them fish were goin' at it!" You should have heard him tell it. I laughed my ass off.

There is all kinds of crazy shit going on in Louisiana. Wouldn't it be something if they declared martial law?? A National Guardsman already got shot (in the Superdome) and they now have orders to shoot looters on site. That's badass fucking shit. My favorite story though is of a 20 year old boy who convinced the New Orleans cops to let him take a bus to Houston, so he drove the bus all the way here picking up stranded people on the way. Nobody thought he'd make it, but he arrived at the Astrodome last night with a busload of peeps and was all over the news. They are calling him a hero. Seems to me he was just smarter.

Some people are sorry sons-of-bitches though. I heard there are panhandlers in Houston who have changed their signs from "will work for food" to "please help I'm from New Orleans." Thats fucked. Trying to capitalize off of other's people's misery and preying on the very souls of largehearted Houstonians. They're going straight to hell, believe that.

But I am sad today because I realized that the destruction of the beautiful city of New Orleans means the destruction of one of my dreams. My husband was supposed to propose to me there! Fuck the people that lived there. How will I ever be able to get married now that the fucking city I am supposed to be engaged in is destroyed?? I am a selfish bitch.