Aphrodisiac

Hooray! Jeff Gordon just won at Martinsville! 73rd career win. That's my boy! Watching him race is so hot. Nascar Sundays shouldn't be wasted alone in your apartment, if you know what I mean. There is something about the low roar and rhythm of the engines. It's so intense; passionate. Ahem. Anyway, I was thinking about doing my usual weekend sports wrap-up but nobody cares. On Friday night I got off work and went out with my cousin and his friends. I love Austin because I always meet interesting people here. Like one guy I met was a director, and has a movie showing at the Austin Film Festival this week. His girlfriend did the special effects. And I also met the owner of a club which made the strongest Cape Cods I've ever had. I got drunk on accident. Honest! It was the kind of drunk where you don't realize how drunk you really were until the next morning. But it was also the kind of drunk where you don't seem drunk. No I didnt do anything crazy. I just talked to people and had a good time. Not too long after I got home and changed into my pajamas, I heard yelling in the parking lot. So I (being drunk) went over there to see what was up and meet the neighbors. Well it was some boys about to fight over who was going to win the Tech game on Saturday. So I talked them out of fighting, and they listened to me because as an Aggie I am a neutral party. haha! But really I am happy that Texas won. Everyone hates Tech. They're the rejects of Texas. Ahem. I need some suggestions for a cheap, easy, clever Halloween costume. Every Halloween weekend on Sixth is like a freak parade of people in all kinds of costumes--some very elaborate. I usually go as Hester Prynne but I left my costume shit in Lufkin and I think it's too late to do anything. I have an extremely minimal budget for this and am having trouble thinking of something cool. Please advise!

I found a new hero today: Condoleezza Rice. She's so rad. I was watching C-SPAN this morning and I was just mesmerized by her discussion with whatever war committee. Plus, she's a black woman. She's doing more for women than Madonna ever dreamed of. I love how Bush has such a diverse cabinet. Say what you will about the man, but that was awesome of him. I think that's how it should be. That kind of shit speaks volumes. Speaking of volumes, I think your heroes speak volumes about you. I realized this while watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off this weekend. So I have compiled a list of my heroes for your analytical pleasure. (Jesus Christ notwithstanding)

Ferris Bueller
Two words: Danke Shon

Condi Rice
The first black woman Secrectary of State. She's smart as a whip and has a sense of humor, plus she seems really down to earth.

Zack Morris
Smooth-talking schemer. Most popular guy in school. Best friends with a total geek.

Carrie Bradshaw
Single female writer living the life in New York City. Fabulous clothes, fabulous parties, fabulous sex. Beautiful, but in her own way. Always conflicted about something.

Courtney Love
To quote Spin Magazine, "She's got the strongest ankles in rock n roll."

John Steinbeck
Literary god. Read East of Eden and you'll know what I mean.

Kevin Smith
Meaningful and crude at the same time. Also known as "Silent Bob."

Henri Matisse
Any man that could create a beautiful woman with just 35 lines must have been some kind of divinity.

Sam Houston
Outsmarted Santa Anna at San Jacinto and ultimately won Texas' Independence from Mexico. Owned a house shaped like a steamboat. Quit the governorship when Texas joined the Confederacy. Lived the rest of his life as an American-Indian and called himself "The Raven." Widely recognized as an eccentric.

Ann Curry
Asian-American journalist on the Today Show. She delivers the news with almost complete objectivity. She has the most beautiful skin and hair I've ever seen and holds herself with the utmost composure. Graceful and pretty.

Douglas Adams
Author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the most creative and exact social commentary ever written.

Scarlett O'Hara
Hardheaded bitch. The belle of the ball. The only girl in the county with a 17" waist. Legendary survivor.

Bree van de Kamp
Very polite but very cold bitch. Everything she does is perfect. I wouldn't fuck with Bree if I lived on Wisteria Lane.

Marshall McLuhan
Visionary. Way ahead of his time. Coined the phrase "global village" and predicted the rise of the internet Nostradamus-style. Read Understanding Media.

Penny Lane
The ultimate groupie. Ahem. Band-Aid. She was there because of the music. "Groupies" sleep with rock stars because they want to be near someone famous. She was the one who changed everything. She said "no more sex, no more exploiting our bodies and our hearts...just blow-jobs, and that's it."

Eric Cartman
Nobody makes mischief like Cartman.

Danielle
She's not afraid of anything. Except carnival rides.