Is this it

I did it! I wrote the resume, and printed it out on pretty white paper. Now I have to get ready to interview. Finish cleaning the house, do my nails, and get a bus pass and a cell phone. Wow. This is getting pretty intense. The moment of truth is en route. There will be several on the way. Some will come sooner than later. Some will not come at all. I need new clothes. I need to be cuter. Sometimes I wonder how I will be able to pull this off. Because I have nothing. Really. Well I have more stuff but it is spread all over the state in various places. But when I look around me I see everyone else's things. That gets old after awhile. Most people have okay stuff. But it's not yours. It starts to hurt after so long. It's a low, creeping ache that makes you want to destroy it all. Fuck it all. The self-destruction vomits anger and pity. A toxic combination.

Watched an interesting movie with a shitty title today. I heart Huckabee's. Yes that is actually the name of this movie. I am a bit of a scholar in existentialism, and I really enjoyed the presentation of the philosophy in this film. I think it hit the nail on the head. I wish I could take something away from a movie like I could in the past, but I think my heart is black these days. Well maybe slate-colored grey. I am cold or something. I need someone to kiss my neck. I need that little bit of heat. It's like I'm suspect of the fire and I stay in the corner where I have felt comfort in my icy cotton blouse and frozen denim jeans. I don't need the fire. The most warmth I'll ever feel will be under a sweater anyway. I need to be held. But I digress...

Seinfeld is perhaps the best television show ever.